To Be Lost
by UnpredictablyRandomOne
Summary: Katie starts dating the perfect guy but slowly realizes there is no such thing. After things spiral out of control and she lands in the hospital, it's up to her family and friends to help her get past it. But how can they help when they feel responsible? Rated T for dark themes, mentions of rape and abuse but nothing too graphic or detailed.


I watched the season premiere of Big Time Rush with my sister and this idea just came to me. To be completely honest, this was the first time I had ever watched the show. I know, shame on me and my stupidity but I'm a fan now and will be ordering the first two seasons to catch up. I've also started listening to their music which I love! Boy bands have been a weakness ever since Nsync...anyone? Just me? Alright.

Warnings: This is a bit dark, mentions rape and abuse but nothing too graphic or detailed. I'm giving it a 'T' rating but please let me know if you think it should be 'M' I don't want to get in trouble. I have no betta so all the mistakes are strictly mine. Sorry... So this takes place when Katie is seventeen, the boys are twenty-three have already begun their separate careers.

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush, I didn't even know who they were until two weeks ago. I only own the plot and any original characters you don't recognize.

Summary: Katie starts dating the perfect guy but slowly realizes there is no such thing. After things spiral out of control and she lands in the hospital, it's up to her family and friends to help her get past it. But how can they help when they feel responsible?

* * *

_"To be lost in your own mind is worse than losing said mind."_

Katie had always been a pretty good judge of character but living in LA had turned her into a professional at reading people. At the age of thirteen, Katie and her mother had moved back to Minnesota after the boys no longer needed a chaperone; they could have stayed in LA but Katie's mom wanted a break from the glamorous life and Katie had agreed with her. Starting eigth grade had been easier than Katie would have thought; the fact that she kept herself distanced from most of the students probably helped with that. That was why she had first ignored the advances from one Michael Robinson, he was too social when all she wanted was privacy. It worked in the beginning but as time went on, she started liking the guy, no matter how much her gut told her to stay away from him. Freshman year, he decided to try again and began to flirt with her once more. Katie tried resisting his charms but felt herself beginning to fall for him; she had even asked her brother, Kendall, for advice. Even though he was usually pretty busy playing for the LA Kings, he always took the time to keep in touch with his sister. His advice had been to shoot the bastard, which brought a smile to Katie's face each and every time. He trusted her instincts but didn't trust her control over her emotions. Eventually though, Katie agreed to one date with Michael and to her surprise, she'd had a good time. Her mother had met him and thought he was a good guy, he had amazing manners and knew just what to say. Which should have been Katie's first warning.

A couple of weeks of later, Kendall had returned from a great hockey season and asked Katie to invite Michael for dinner. She was worried he would use his hockey stick on her new boyfriend but in the end she agreed. Kendall had spoken with Michael for almost an hour until Katie had told them dinner was going to need reheating if they didn't hurry up. After dinner, Michael offered to do the dishes which Mrs. Knight declined and sent him off with Katie and Kendall. They spoke for another hour or so before Michael had to leave; Kendall didn't like him but figured it was just his big brother instincts wanting to scare off any guy that got close to his baby sister. During the interrogation, his talk with Michael, Kendall hadn't picked out any bad vibes but there was something off about him. Of course, he couldn't exactly tell Katie he didn't feel right, she would have laughed at him. His mother seemed to genuinely like guy which didn't really mean much, she liked anybody who brought her flowers. Kendall would keep an eye on this relationship before giving his final verdict on Michael Robinson.

Several months later, Logan took some time off from his studies at Oregon Health and Science University and decided to stay with the Knights for awhile. Even though he had never been as close to Katie as the other guys, he trully loved her as one loved a baby sister. He had been there for a few days when he had noticed a bruise on Katie's left arm. After asking her about it, she told him she'd got it in a fight with some girl named Tina, who didn't know when to stop talking. She had been so convincing, Logan hadn't doubted her even though the shape of the bruise was a bit too large to have been made by a high school girl. His last night there, he had taken Katie to the lake then dinner at her favorite restaurant. They'd had such a great time, Katie had lost track of time and forgot to call Michael to let him know where she was. Once Logan and Katie had reached her home, they saw a shadow sitting on the porch which she immediately recognized. Putting on a smile, Katie had introduced Logan to her boyfriend. Michael had shaken Logan's hand with a little too much force, which Logan had taken as some kind of way of showing dominance which he thought was rather pointless. Logan had gone inside and missed the insults Michael had thrown at Katie. If he had heard, Katie was sure Logan wouldn't have left Michael standing. It wasn't that her boyfriend was a bad guy, he just had trouble showing how he felt so he used aggression. It was alright though, he apologized each and every time.

Three months later, Carlos had stopped by after directing a music video in town for an upcoming band, The Wailing MoNkeyS. Katie had laughed at the weird name but had enjoyed their music nonetheless. In her mind though, there would never be another group as amazing as Big Time Rush. She had been a bit surprised to find out Carlos was starting his own record label with Gustavo's help; Katie hadn't seen him so excited since he had discovered mini-corn dogs. He had loved directing videos but wanted something more stable and Katie had to admit, he was doing pretty good. His label had already signed up several artist including The Wailing MoNkeyS, Helmet Hair, Saving Sound and her favorite artist, JellyBean. Her name wasn't _that_ bad and her voice was incredible. Knowing how much she loved JellyBean, Carlos gave her an autographed cd along with a personal message for Katie. When she had opened the package and saw what it was, Katie had hugged Carlos and squealed like a ten year old girl. She had forgotten Michael was there who watched the exchange with a forced smile. He would later make Katie break the album, hurting her more than any physical abuse. Carlos had noticed how Michael seemed a bit distant towards him but assumed he was probably feeling intimidated and had chosen to stay clear. He couldn't fault him for that, Carlos was still recognized everywhere he went, he thought with a proud grin. He still couldn't believe Little Katie had grown up and actually had a serious boyfriend, he wondered how Kendall was really taking it.

During her junior year, Katie felt like she was genuinely in love with Michael. He wasn't perfect but he was trying to make sure she had everything she needed to be happy. He was very protective of her and usually went everywhere with her, just to keep her safe of course. Feeling a bit distanced from her brother and friends, she enjoyed having someone watching over her. He adviced her what to wear for certain occasions, made sure it wasn't too revealing that it might attract unwanted attention. Katie accepted his decisions without much argument knowing he only wanted what was best for her. She liked the outfits he had picked out for her; they weren't her usual style and it had felt a bit uncomfortable at first but she was okay with it now. That was why she didn't understand why James had a problem with her new wardrobe. He had been on a world tour as a solo artist, filming movies and doing everything he loved to do for the past three years and was yet to meet Michael. In typical James fashion, he had shown up unannounced and simply said he would be staying for a few days which had turned into a couple of weeks. Her mother had of course, accepted without a second thought. During that time, James had noticed how different his Katie was. It wasn't just her change in style, which he didn't agree with at all but her attitude was lacking its usual fire; it was as if somebody had extinguished her fiery passion for life. He had met her boyfriend and had immediately disliked him, he wouldn't be surprised if it was Robinson's fault his Katie appeared dull and lifeless. Not one for being subtle, he had cornered Katie and asked her what had happened to her. She, of course, denied anything bad going on and used the 'I'm growing up' excuse which he didn't buy for a minute. There was something going on with his Katie but didn't want to push her away by throwing wild accusations; he would have pushed harder had he seen the bruises covering her body.

A couple of weeks after James left, Katie began to understand what he was talking about. This wasn't her, this wasn't who she wanted to be so why was she pretending? Had her love for Michael prevented her from seeing what was going on or was this who she wanted to be? No, she_ missed_ being able to go out with her friends, she missed being able to wear her casual clothing, missed her sweats and tshirts, she missed the old Katie. Her junior year was almost over but it wasn't too late to start hanging out with her old friends again. She hadn't even noticed how much time had passed since she last saw any of them. A few weeks later, she was making plans with the ones who'd taken her back. Katie had apologized for being so distant and they had accepted her after making sure it wasn't some kind of joke. She had told Michael of her plans which he didn't approve, making him upset. Michael had asked her if she was cheating on him, if she wanted to leave him and all sorts of things Katie hadn't even thought about. He had gotten so mad, he'd hit her across the face hard enough to knock her out for a few minutes. She had woken up to Michael crying and apologizing to her over and over again. Her gut feeling seemed to have woken up and told her to leave, to leave and never go back to him but her heart felt compassion and stayed. He was a different person after that, he didn't yell, he didn't stop her from doing what she wanted and she felt like things were finally starting to improve.

Her senior year came and went so fast, she hadn't realized graduation was less than a month away. That was when it all started again, when her letters of acceptance to different colleges began to arrive. He started drinking heavily, cussing at her and soon he was hitting her once more. Each time he would apologize and promise not to do it again which she believed each and every time. Prom was supposed to have been her best memory, one she would never forget; Michael had made sure she would never forget it. They'd had a good time dancing and enjoying the company of their friends but after several drinks, he'd decided it was time to go home. But he didn't take her home, he took her to a crappy hotel where he'd forced himself on her and stole what she had fought so hard to keep. Katie had never been one to take things quietly and that night she remembered who she was. She had fought him wildly, scratching and biting him but to no avail. Michael was bigger, faster and stronger than her, he'd beaten her until he'd finished. Yet, after all that she kept fighting him, she couldn't understand why nobody had come to check on them after all her screaming. When she tried to get out, he had gotten so mad he'd twisted her left arm at such a weird angle, she knew it would break before she actually felt the snap. The pain alone was enough to knock her out. She woke up the following morning feeling dazed and confused until she'd remembered what happened, sending her into shock. Katie noticed her left arm was numb and it looked backwards. She let out a laugh at how funny it looked before she started coughing. Her throat felt like it was on fire, probably from all the screaming. After a few minutes of silence, she looked around the room and realized Michael was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he'd finally set her free. She slowly and painfully made her way to the side of the bed and picked up the phone. Later she would wonder why she hadn't called the police right away but in that moment, she knew the only person who could make everything better was her big brother.

* * *

Kendall turned in his bed again, not being able to fall back to sleep. He had called Katie a little after midnight to see how she'd enjoyed her prom but his mother had said she wasn't home yet. Trying to be rational, he knew how proms usually ended. Hell, his had ended the same way but that didn't mean he wanted his baby sister to follow in his footsteps. Sure, she was almost eighteen and would be able to make her own decisions soon...who was he kidding, Katie had been able to make her own decision since she was ten years old. That still didn't mean he had to like it. Around five in the morning, he'd been woken up but wasn't sure why. He woke up in a cold sweat and trembling, he wondered if he'd had a nightmare and couldn't remember it. After getting up and having a glass of milk, he'd tried going back to sleep but couldn't. Something was bugging him to stay awake, to do something but he had no idea what. At half past seven, he gave up on sleep and got ready for the day. It was going to be a very busy day. Logan would be arriving later, more than likely talking about how he had a couple of months left of school before he could start his residency at Johns Hopkins Hospital and how things were going with his girlfriend, Sophie. Kendall was proud of his friend, he deserved everything he'd worked so hard for. Once Logan arrived, they'd hang out for awhile before meeting up with James for lunch then head to the new studio Carlos was opening. Nobody had expected Carlos to be the business type but he had surprised them all, they couldn't be happier for him. After that, they would be attending the Grammy's where James Diamond had three nominations. They were all hoping he would win at least one of them, James had shown the world he was more than a pretty face and had impacted lives through his music. After Kendall returned from his daily jog, he was surprised to see Logan waiting outside his home, he wasn't suppose to arrive until later.

"I took an earlier flight, I couldn't stand Sophie's mother for much longer." Logan explained before Kendall had even asked. Kendall smiled at his explanation, Logan had been seeing Sophie for almost a year but he still couldn't handle her mom.

"If you plan on marrying her then you better start getting used to living with Ms. Dana, I don't think she'd let you keep Sophie all to yourself." Kendall teased as he opened the door. Judging from Logan's terrified expression, Kendall wasn't that far off. Logan started on breakfast while Kendall took a quick shower. They could have gone anywhere in LA to eat but Kendall never wasted a chance to enjoy Logan's famous cooking. An hour later, they were ready to drive around the city, reminiscing on what once was. At around noon, they met up with James for lunch at their favorite diner. They talked about how their lives were going, how Logan was going to be the first to marry no matter how much he denied it and how James was going to be the first dad in the group. That had gotten quite a reaction from James who had been taking a drink, asking if they'd heard something he hadn't even though he hadn't had a serious girlfriend in awhile. They were laughing when Carlos joined them for a few minutes before heading off to his new studio.

Since Logan was driving, Kendall decided to call his mom and find out if Katie was back home. He would have called Katie but he didn't want to risk any details spilling out. That was when he realized he had left his cell at home. Sighing, he asked Logan for his which he handed over with a smirk. Logan knew how much this was killing his friend and it was kind of fun to watch him squirm. He cared about Katie as well but her private life should stay private unless it concerned something they could all listen to without cringing.

"Hm, no answer at home or their cell phones." Kendall muttered.

"Your mom probably forgot to charge her phone again before heading out and Katie, well, she probably doesn't want to get up." He returned the teasing from earlier. Kendall glared at Logan before calling his voicemail to check for any messages. There were three new messages: the first one was one of his teammates inviting him to his son's baptism, save that for later Kendall thought. The second had him sitting up straight immediately after hearing his mother's worried voice telling him that Katie still wasn't back. She tried reassuring him it was nothing to worry about, that she was going to start calling friends to see if they knew where she was and call him later. Kendall felt his heart beginning to race but forced himself to calm down, he didn't want to jump to conclusions. He was about to hang up to call his mother again when the third message started, causing him to almost stop breathing.

'Hey big brother, sorry I missed you but I guess you're still sleeping.' He heard her groan in pain which made him tighten his grip on the phone. Logan watched as Kendall's breathing became erratic. Honking at James to let him know something was wrong, Logan pulled up to the side of the road before asking Kendall what was wrong. Kendall pushed the speaker button and Logan tensed at Katie's raspy voice. 'Don't get mad but I think I messed up by dating Michael, I realize now he isn't who I thought he was, or who I had hoped he was.' James and Carlos reached their side and listened to Katie sob. 'Kendall, he hit me. He beat me so many times and I never said anything, how was anybody suppose to help me when they didn't know what was going on? I'm hurt big brother, I think he, no, I know he broke my arm. It's all twisted and purple.' She laughed which sent shivers down their spines. James reached for his own phone and walked away from the car. 'I don't remember everything that happened after he...after he raped me.' She sobbed harder. 'I'm scared Kendall, I'm scared I'm going to die without seeing you one more time. I feel so lost, I need help.' Kendall dropped the phone and would have hit the floor if Logan hadn't reached for it in time. 'I'm in room fifty-six at the LoveBug Hotel, please save me?' She asked before the line went dead and the voicemail asked whether he wanted to save or delete the message. Carlos was on his own phone calling his dad to tell him what was going on. He returned to the car at the same time as James to see Logan trying to calm Kendall down who wanted to get out of the car and run back to Minnesota.

"I have my private jet getting ready as we speak. Logan, you remember where the airstrip is?" Logan nodded after Kendall had calmed down enough to understand what was happening. Carlos informed him that his dad was on his way with paramedics and that they'd be taking her to the local hospital. James and Carlos got into Kendall's car, speeding to the airstrip. James called someone to pick up his and Carlos' car and let his agent know he was going to miss the Grammy's as Carlos let Gustavo know he had a family emergency to attend to. Thirty minutes later, they were aboard the aircraft and heading back to Minnesota to save Katie...and to kill the one who'd been stupid enough to hurt their little sister.

* * *

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Katie could barely make out the slight beeping through the fog that was clouding her mind; she wasn't even sure it was real. It would be pretty funny if the beeping started to beep 'Windows Down', she thought before remembering what had happened. Instead of panicking, like she thought she should, she remained calm. For a split second she wondered if she was dead but then thought about the beeping and hoped it meant she was in a hospital; she would take hospital over morgue any day. She remembered how bad her arm had looked and how she had found it hilarious. They must really have her on the good stuff if she couldn't feel it. Then she wondered if maybe she couldn't feel anything because the doctor had amputated her arm. That thought had her heart wanting to beat out of her chest. Katie was trying to open her eyes but she couldn't, it felt like somebody was holding her eyes shut and that terrified her into screaming. Through her panic, she felt several arms trying to hold her down but she didn't want that, she wanted them off. Before she could continue her fight, she felt darkness begin to pull her back but not before she heard her big brother telling her she was save, she was going to be ok. Knowing he was there with her, Katie knew she would be.

* * *

Kendall watched as the drugs put his baby sister under again. The way she'd suddenly sat up was enough to scare him but the scream? That would have sent him into hysterics if Logan hadn't been there to calm him down while he assured Katie she was now save. After the nurse had made sure Katie was okay, she asked the boys to wait outside while the doctor spoke with his mom. Kendall was about to protest but his mom shook her head before Logan helped him out of the room and unto a chair. They had made it to Minnesota within a few hours and had been rushed to the hospital in the police cruiser Carlos' dad had sent for them. Kendall had led the way into the hospital and found his mom sitting in the waiting area the nurse had directed them to. He knew he should have offered comfort but instead, she had been the one holding onto him, assuring him that everything was going to be alright. She had held him as he cried, scared of not knowing how his sister was or if she was even alive. Logan had walked away to the nurses station and asked for information with Mrs. Knight's permission while James and Carlos sat on either side of their brother and adoptive mother. After a few minutes, Logan had returned and filled the guys in, Katie was in the recovery ward after having needed surgery to repair the damage on her left arm. She had suffered a concussion, two cracked ribs, she had several bruises and a sprained ankle which would heal up after some time. Kendall realized Logan was holding something back but it was his mom who told them their baby sister had been raped. They had heard Katie say that in the voicemail, except James who now looked like he was about to be sick, but it still hurt to hear it confirmed. Kendall pulled away from his mom before quickly making his way to the stairs. Logan followed while James and Carlos stayed with their Mama Knight.

Opening the door that led to the stairs, Logan wasn't sure whether to go up or down when he heard a heart wrenching cry coming from above him. He quickly made his way up the stairs and stopped when he saw Kendall kneeling down the steps as if he had tripped and didn't have the strength to stand back up. Logan wiped away his tears that had managed to escape before slowly making his way to his friend and sitting down next to him. Every few seconds, Logan would wipe away his own tears as he listened to Kendall cry in pure agony. Katie hadn't deserved this, nobody deserved this but especially not someone as kind and caring as Little Katie. Logan hid his face between his hands and sobbed along with Kendall, not knowing how they could have let this happen. He remembered seeing a bruise on her arm when he'd visited her a couple of years ago, he knew the imprint had looked too big to be another girl's hand but he'd believed Katie and let it go. If he had done something back then, he was sure Katie would be getting ready for her graduation instead of lying in a hospital bed. It was all his fault.

"It's all my fault." Kendall muttered between sobs. Logan looked down at him, shaking his head. "I knew there was something off about him but I ignored it thinking I was just being a big brother. Some brother I was, I let that monster stay to hurt my baby sister!" He brought his fist down on the step and Logan thought he might have broken it until Kendall hit the step again but softly this time. "It's all my fault." Logan rubbed Kendall's back before admitting responsibility himself.

"It was _my_ fault. I noticed a bruise on her arm when I stayed with her during my school break, I asked her about it but she said she'd gotten in a fight with some girl from school and I believed her. I knew the imprint looked too big to be of a girl but I accepted her explanation and let it go. If I hadn't walked away from it, she wouldn't be here right now." Kendall took several deep breaths before sitting down next to Logan.

"We screwed up and she paid the consequences."

"That's not true. You guys can't blame yourselves for what happened, this was all _his_ fault and nobody elses." Carlos stated, making his way up to his friends. "James blames himself for not seeing it when he stayed over at your house, I blame myself for not having noticed what kind of a freak _he_ was in time but it wasn't our fault! This was all him and nobody else." He said before sitting down near them. "All we can do now is be there for Katie because you know damn well she's going to blame herself and probably think we blame her as well." Logan and Kendall gave him curious looks. "I looked it up during our flight here, she's going to feel like she deserved it for not putting a stop to it. So we need to stop blaming ourselves and concentrate on helping Katie get better."

* * *

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Her arm hurt was the first thing she noticed, after the annoying beeps that is. The second thing Katie noticed, or was it the third? Anyways, the other thing she noticed was that she could see again. Blinking slowly, trying to clear her vision, she was grateful she could see again. Turning her head to the left, she noticed a cast on her arm. Hm, she'd been right about her arm breaking. She turned to her right and watched her big brother sleeping, curled up uncomfortably in the old looking hospital chair. She wondered if he'd been there all night or day, she wasn't sure what time it was. Katie smiled at the sight, he was going to make everything okay. She closed her eyes before falling asleep once more.

* * *

"Keep your voices down, you might wake her up."

"Isn't that what we want?"

"Just shut up, will you?"

"Don't tell me to shut up, I'm not the one who keeps singing about the stupid sun."

"It was her favorite song growing up, I already explained that!"

Katie smiled at her brother's playful banter with his friends. "Why don't you all shut up." She said trying to sound irritated but only manged it as a whisper. The guys immediately turned to her with bright smiles of their own.

"I'll get the doctor." Logan said running out of the room.

"Why do they always do that when the nurses button is riiight...here." Carlos laughed before pressing the call button. Katie tried to laugh but felt her throat completely dry. "Try not to talk, the doctor said it would take some time before you sound like your normal annoying self." Kendall and James smacked Carlos over the head at his comment but Katie just smiled. This felt good, it felt normal.

"Are you in any pain?" Kendall asked concerned to which she just shook her head. She wasn't really in pain, more like a tolerable discomfort.

"Where's mom?" She asked after noticing she was the only one missing.

"She's back at home getting some sleep, she should be back later." Katie nodded, at least her mom had been here, that meant she couldn't be too mad at her for what had happened. The doctor walked in followed by Logan who seemed like his assistant.

"Good morning Katie, it's nice to see you fully awake. I'm Doctor Wallace, are you in too much pain?" The kind looking man asked. Katie knew it was irrational but she felt scared to be near the doctor, he seemed nice but what if he turned out to be like Mich..she didn't want to think about him.

"I'm sore. And thirsty." She managed to say through her nerves. Kendall, perhaps feeling his sister's anxiety, held her hand in a comforting manner which seemed to work. The doctor wrote something down on his chart with Logan watching over his shoulder.

"You will be sore for awhile so you'll have to take it easy until your ribs and right ankle heal completely. Your arm has to stay in that cast for at least seven weeks before we can change it for another one, depending on how it's healing. We've started taking you off the heavy painkillers but we can still give you something if the pain gets too much, okay?" Katie nodded in understanding. "I'll have the nurse bring you some water but you're going to start with small amounts, we don't want you getting sick with your ribs hurting. We'll also be referring you to a psychologist to help you-" Katie stopped paying attention after that, he wanted her to talk about what had happened? She didn't want to remember anything, let alone tell someone about it. Kendall felt his sister tense and noticed her scared expression before the doctor did.

"It's okay Katie, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. Calm down, I'm right here with you. Take a deep breath, there you go. Just calm down, you're going to be okay, you're going to be okay." Her brother's soothing voice calmed her down enough to where she closed her eyes and fell asleep after a few minutes.

* * *

Kendall watched Katie fall back asleep, he had been worried she was going to start panicking again but thankfully he'd managed to calm her down. The doctor wrote something else on the chart before making his way to her side and checking her pulse. It was a little high but it should be going down now that was asleep again. James watched with barely contained fury, he wanted to go out and destroy something. His Katie was hurt and it was all his fault.

"Don't mention the psychologist again, I think it scared her." Carlos guessed, taking a deep breath. The doctor agreed and wrote some more stuff down before handing the chart over to Logan who accepted it with a serious expression. Kendall chuckled at his friend who was probably feeling like a real doctor at the moment.

"I will check on her again during my rounds but I'm sure she'll make a complete recovery with plenty of rest and help from her friends and family." They thanked him and he left the room. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Mrs. Knight came in.

"Boys, it's eight in the morning. Go home, get at least six hours of sleep and make sure you eat something before coming back. I know Carlos and James just got here but I would like some time alone with my baby, please. Logan, as a doctor in training I'm sure you know how important it is that you all get some rest so I trust you can handle them?" Logan beemed at being called a doctor, well, sort of, causing the others to groan knowing he would be impossible to deal with now. They said goodbye and each gave Katie a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the hospital. Jennifer Knight watched as her boys left the room, sighing in defeat; she'd be lucky if they got two hours of sleep and maybe some fruit in them.

* * *

"Nobody messes with by baby sister and gets away with it." Kendall growled before taking another bite of his veggie omelet. Since arriving to Minnesota a week ago, he'd practically been force fed by Logan, he wasn't complaining though, it was delicious. He watched as James spoke with his agent while Carlos spoke with his. James had won two grammy's much to everyone's surprise and Carlos had a very promising artist to try out. Kendall had told them to go back but they wouldn't hear it, they were not leaving Katie until she was safe and sound back at home. Which the boys had decided, was back in LA. Kendall ate in silence, thinking about his plan. The minute they'd left the hospital, he started thinking about Michael and how badly he wanted to find him. The police were looking for him but the bastard was hiding pretty well, that or somebody was helping him. Finishing up his breakfast, he washed his dishes before heading to the living room when a knock came from the front. He went over and opened the door to be met with the one person he had just been thinking about. Kendall was shocked to see Michael Robinson standing in his front porch, dressed in a bloodied suit. Kendall's grip on the door handle tightened.

"Hear me out before you-" Michael hadn't finished when a fist struck him across the jaw, sending him down the steps with Kendall right after him. Landing punch after punch, Kendall couldn't stop, he WOULDN'T stop until the monster was dead and would never hurt his baby sister again. Michael blocked a punch before kicking Kendall in the gut, sending him back. Before Kendall had completely stood, Michael's fist collided with his right temple, making him see black dots but that didn't stop the furious brother. Kendall yelled before running into Michael sending both of them to the ground where they rolled around, landing hits on each other.

"Hey! Carlos, call your dad!" Logan shouted behind him as he ran to his friend's aid. He tried pulling Kendall away but the latter wouldn't allow him as he continued fighting. "Kendall, let him go!" Logan shouted before fully grasping his friend's shirt and pulling him back. Michael was going to punch him again when James appeared out of nowhere and punched him in the face, hearing his nose crack before everything went dark. James was about to hit him again but Logan yelled at him to stop. "It's not worth it! Let the police deal with him." James clenched his fists and was about to head to where Logan was struggling to hold Kendall back but decided one kick to a sensitive area wouldn't hurt. The bastard had hurt his Katie, he deserved some pain. Logan would have rolled his eyes if he hadn't been busy trying to stop his friend from committing murder.

"Let me go! I'm going to kill him, I want to kill him!"

"Enough! Kendall, I understand how you're feeling but killing him won't solve anything, it will just send you to prison." Logan said through clenched teeth before James finally helped him sit Kendall down.

"I don't care, he almost killed Katie! I almost lost her!" Kendall cried out but had stopped fighting against his friends. "He deserves to die..." He sobbed as Logan held onto him. Carlos ran out and watched in shock at the scene before him. James looked up and pointed his head towards the unconscious Michael.

"Help yourself." Carlos made his way over ignoring Logan's protests. He clenched his jaw, fighting the urge to punch him repeatedly but knew it was wrong. The thought didn't stop him from landing one quick punch to his face though.

"My dad's on his way, he said not to do anything stupid." He smirked at his friends whom were able to relax a bit. Carlos frowned at Kendall's bloodied face, he was going to be sporting a black eye and his lip was split open but he looked better than Robinson. "You should get cleaned up, they're going to want a statement." James helped Kendall up and led him inside the house while Carlos remained next to Michael, making sure he didn't wake up and ran off. Logan went up to them, smiling in approval at the messed up face before sighing. It wasn't right but they couldn't help wanting some payback for his actions. Carlos chuckled when Logan _accidentally_ stepped on Robinson's hand on his way inside. Sitting down to wait for his father, Carlos wondered why Michael had been stupid enough to show his face to someone guaranteed to beat him.

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It had been almost two weeks since Katie had gone through the worst day of her life, all thanks to someone whom she thought had loved her. Katie didn't think she'd ever be able to talk to another guy let alone date one; the only ones she felt safe around were her brother and his best friends and even then she'd shy away from them. She had read and heard about people who were in abusive relationships but never did she think she'd end up in one. Now, she knew how it felt; she understood how it felt to be lost in her own emotions. Katie knew what it meant to be lost and not sure how to find herself again, she was scared to look and knew it was because of the fear Michael had brought her; the only thing she wanted was to lock herself in her room and never come out. How could she have been so stupid to fall for him then put up with everything he did to her? It was all her fault she'd ended up here in the hospital, she had been lucky it hadn't been worse. "I'm so stupid.." She muttered to herself.

"No, you're not." Katie gave a slight jump, feeling her ribs throb. She glared at the person leaning against the door frame who had the nerve to smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." James said sincerely as he made his way to her side, sitting down in the chair next to her bed. The other guys were in the cafeteria with Mama Knight where James had left them, he didn't like Katie being alone and he wasn't hungry anyways. It had been almost a week since the arrest of Michael Robinson and a week since the idiot had tried to get Kendall arrested for assault. He had actually believed he could convince them to drop the charges against him if he in turn dropped the ones against Kendall. Moron hadn't finished offering his deal when their lawyer had Kendall cleared of everything and back with Katie. Now, he would await his trial and the justice system would take care of him, James would make sure of it.

"Sure you didn't." She said with a small smile hoping he wouldn't say anything about her comment. No such luck.

"You're not stupid Katie, you're human and you made a mistake but you're not stupid." He said taking her hand in his, causing her to quickly pull back, ignoring the hurt look in his eyes. James couldn't stand having his Katie this scared of him, he tried to understand it wasn't him personally but he hated not being able to comfort her. "You're going to be alright." He wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure himself more than her. Katie nodded but didn't look at him. "Katie, please don't look away from me." James wanted to remove the defeated look he saw when she turned, he knew he could do it but it would take time and patience. Call him overconfident but he knew he could bring back the old Katie, his Katie stronger than ever.

"I'm sorry James, you tried helping me but I didn't listen." James slowly stood up, not wanting to startle her again and sat down next to her on the bed.

"The first step to any recovery is knowing what went wrong, you know that now so focus on step two, moving on." Katie couldn't help the laugh that escaped.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to you sounding so grown up." She teased which instantly made him smile. "I expected it from Carlos but never you, James." Katie knew she could trust James to keep her safe, he was loyal to a fault. That was one of the reasons why she'd always had a secret crush on him.

"What can I say, I learned man couldn't leave on Cuda products alone and grew up." Katie rested her head against his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her. "I'm here for you, always." Katie nodded.

"I heard you won some silly award."

"Silly award? I won two grammy's! How can you say they're silly when only the most talented and prestigious artists ever receive them?" James was offended. He had worked so hard and was finally being recognized but Katie thought it was silly? He saw her smiling innocently, making him scoff. Of course she didn't think it was silly, she just liked getting a rise out of him.

"Congratulations James, you deserve it." She said resting her head against him once more. He sighed, his Katie was going to be just fine.

As James continued talking about his career, his grammy awards, his new car and everything he could think off, she finally dozed off. James smiled warmly at his Katie, he would make sure she would never leave his side again, not after finally admitting to himself how he trully felt for her. Now he understood why his relationships didn't last, why he'd tried ignoring the fact that Katie had a serious boyfriend and why he had felt he would lose his mind if Katie hadn't made it. He would be with her every step of the way through her healing process and make sure she knew she could always count on him. She would always have James by her side.

A few minutes later, Logan and Carlos smiled at the sight of Katie and James asleep. "Look Kendall, they're sleeping together." Carlos whispered which earned a disapproving stare from Logan and a quick slap to the head from Kendall. They walked inside and sat down in the chairs to wait for the doctor who was suppose to release Katie. Kendall looked up at his sister and best friend, somehow he'd always known they shared something but neither one would admit it. Hell, _he_ didn't want to admit it but after what had happened, there was nobody he would ever trust to keep Katie safe as much as his best friend. That didn't mean he was going to make it easy on them and he would make sure nothing happened for a long, long time, not if he had anything to say about it.

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Wow, kinda long huh? I know it ended kind of unfinished but that's because this was more of an introduction, I'm planning a multi chapter story that picks up a few weeks after this one ended. If I get enough reviews I'll continue working on it but if I don't then that just means I have to work harder at improving my writing. Let me know how I did and what I can improve on, please and thank you.


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